Latina Recasts Gossip Girl With Latino Actors

Latina.com has compiled a list of Latino faces they say could replace the original cast of Gossip Girl were it to go that way. Much to our chagrin, most of their picks are look-a-like, pale skin Latinos, (like Selena Gomez as Blair Waldorf), despite their claim that “The Upper East Side could use some color.” We mean, if you’re going to Latinize a show about bitchy girls in New York, call it Bochinche Girl and have it star Jennifer Lopez and Rosie Perez pulling out each other’s weaves on a weekly basis. But, alas, we don’t edit Latina. After the jump, see who gets to play Chuck Bass. It’s blasphemous.

Alexa Vega as Serena van der Woodsen
Hey didn’t Alexa used to have dark hair in Spy Kids? It’s like we’re looking in a mirror. A caucasian mirror at the Aryan Fun House.

Wilmer “Hispanic Role Model” Valderama as Chuck Bass
Seriously, has Latina ever watched Gossip Girl?

Walter Bruno from the Argentinean Version of High School Musical As Nate Archibald
Bruno may be the Argentinean Zac Effron, but he is no Chace Crawford. Get some hair volumizer on that boy, stat.

Victor Rasuk As Dan Humphrey
We guess since Dan is the show’s token poor, they let a Dominican play him.

Mark Indelicato as Twink Eric Van Der Woodsen
Finally, some great casting. We totally agree with this and think, in fact, Mark should be in the original gossip girl as the van der Woodsen’s adopted Latino boy from Queens.

Lourdes Leon As Jenny Humphrey
Also a fantastic choice. Light years better than the original Jenny who manages to look like a young prostitute no matter what she wears.

Melonie Diaz as Vanessa Abrams
Does Vanessa need to be recast being that she’s the only kid on the show who actually has some color? That said, this Melonie Diaz person starred in something called, The Itty Bitty Titty Committee. We likey!

Kate del Castillo as Lilly van der Woodsen
Anything has to be an improvement from the acting chops of Kelly Rutherford.

Brazilian actor Rodrigo Santoro as Rufus Humphrey
Swap one white guy for another. We guess. Whatever. What’s for dinner?

Perez Hilton as Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl, whose identity is never revealed on the show, but whose lines are voiced by -Sarah Michelle Gellar- Kristen Bell is replaced by some pig in lipstick.

Gossip Girl: Recast [Latina]