MadonnaGuyGate ‘08: Madonna Calls Guy “Emotionally Retarded,” Believes She Is The Messiah

Madonna and Guy Richie’s marriage has never been more marginally of interest than now! It seems the two fought over Madonna’s more beloved accessories: Kabbalah and her adopted children. Madonna kept shit classy as fuck by announcing in concert that “Miles Away” — a song she had previously dedicated to Richie — was meant for the “emotionally retarded.” Queefed Madonna:

‘This song is for the emotionally retarded. Maybe you know some people who fall into that category. God knows I do.’

She’s starting with the man in the mirror. Good for her! The reason she’s quite possibly labeling her husband an emotional retard? He disagreed with her on pretty much everything -that has carefully calculated to garner her the most media attention - she cares most about. On the topic of her adherence to Kabbalah, a source (Carlos Leon) says:

‘Madonna believes the reason she is a world icon is that she has somehow been chosen to channel messages to the masses.

‘She feels her destiny has been preordained. Guy on the other hand thinks that’s a load of b*******.’

Well a real man would be able to handle being married to the Messiah who refers to people as retards. Guy also had a problem with her wanting to adopt a little girl for Malawi, despite the shitstorm that ensued as she tried to adopt her 2-year-old son, David Banda, by bending that country’s adoption laws. She plans to go ahead and adopt 3-year-old Mercy James anyway, who will undoubtedly make a lovely addition to some nanny’s life.

Speaking of little David, Madonna’s divorce proceedings are being closely monitored by creepily-named youth organization, Eye of the Child, to ensure David’s familial situation remains as stable as possible under the circumstances:

‘We will be watching to make sure that the interests of David have been observed in the divorce,’ its executive director, Maxwell Mateware, said.

‘If that is not the case we will go to court in Malawi to ensure that he is protected.’

(We will take him.)

Additionally, Guy was not on board with Madonna’s decision of moving their family from London to New York because he is very, very selfish and does not understand a woman’s need to be close to the man with which she is cuckolding him.

The gloves are off: Madonna blasts ‘emotionally retarded’ Guy Ritchie as she takes to the stage in Boston [Daily Mail]
War of the Ritchies: The bitter rows over Kabbalah, adoption and New York that led to Madonna and Guy’s split [Daily Mail]
Why sad, haunted David Banda is the REAL victim of Madonna’s divorce [Daily Mail]