Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio’s maltese, Buddha, is lost. He somehow escaped from her home, which is probably pink and made of diamonds, to wander the streets of Los Angeles like some kind of whore. Also, he is blue. LOLiterally. A notice for the lost dog reads:

“Alessandra Ambrosio’s 4 pound maltese named Buddha got out and is lost. He is tie dyed (sic) blue and green and is lost please help in anyway possible. She loves her dog so much and there is a large reward if someone returns him. He was lost in Beverly Hills.”

Contact info and stupid dog pictures, after the jump:

“If anyone finds a Blue and Green little dog please call 310 396 4400 or email Helpfindbuddha@gmail.com.”

Maybe he escaped because he’s been fucking tie-dyed by his owner. He was probably considering mauling his own leg off if it meant escaping from a life of looking like something Boy George picks out of his eye at the end of the day.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what a suicidal dog might look like:

Soon after this picture was taken, this dog loaded his pockets with stones and walked off into an angry sea, never to be heard from again.

Sharpies! This is what happens when you pass out drunk in front of your homies. What you can’t see is the “Insert DICK Here” written above his ass. YEAH, BRO!

This dog is screaming, silently.

You might find it “cute” to paint a dog so that it resembles a panda. …Until he becomes blind and starts shitting blood.

Actually, in a previous life, this dog was Rick Santorum.

ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO - SUPERMODEL’S DOG LOST [Contact Music]