It’s always kind of fun to see how non-Latinos view us and there’s really no better time for it than Halloween - the only time of the year where one can dress in brownface or like a geisha or like an Indian Squaw without getting one’s face turned entirely inside-out. A search for costume ideas leads to a lot of online stores selling “Spanish and Mexican” costumes, most of which are riffs on Carmen Miranda’s ruffled costumes, who was neither Spanish, nor Mexican. Rest assured, Venezuelans. No one will be wearing a slutty version of your traditional garb or cultural icons this year.

So let’s all put down our maracas, trim our gigantic mustaches and take a look to see how we’re all going to be exoticized and stereotyped this year. Then, we’ll give you some suggestions for better, more original costume ideas for this year.

Onward and olé:

Man Fucking a Donkey

Because sometimes we get lonely. By the way, the costume is actually called “Hey Amigo.” Which is funny, because that’s always the last thing we hear before a donkey punch.

A Prostitute

Because chiles don’t de-seed themselves.

A Giant Rodent Aficionado of Haberdashery

Speedy’s cousin got into huffing paint during his teen years and has a bit of a problem with impersonating teen girls in chat rooms. But he’s a good guy, all in all.

Chacha Lady

It’s a well-known fact that, at puberty, the female Peronus Latinus sprouts a mane of fruit-shaped head tumors.

Baby Pepper

Aw. Nom nom. This is how the Personus Latinus looks coming in to the world. We lose our tails around age 3.

A Vagina

That is giant.

La Pequeña Pequeña

Pop culture icon and beloved entertainer “La Pequeña,” whose exploits have been lovingly chronicled right here on Guanabee, now has her own Hallogueen costume. But you cannot see it because she is completely hidden by her hat.

Dick

Carlos Mencia hasn’t been heard from in a while.

Jessica Alba Declares Herself

Jessica Alba’s campaign for “Declare Yourself” has been quite a sensation. Dozens of fives of people have been inspired to vote thanks to her donning a strange muzzle and messy hair. Her inspiring look can be yours too!