Times Are Hard And So Is This Investment Banker Auctioning Off His Gay Virginity
A 27 year-old man is seeking to auction off his “gay virginity” to the highest bidder to help pay off his $32, 000 credit card debt after losing his job on Wall Street. We really can’t make this any funnier than it already is so here is the quote:
I am a 27-year-old straight white male living in New York City. I’m currently unemployed, having recently lost my position as a Business Analyst at a big 5 investment bank on Wall Street.
I am looking to LEGALLY give my “gay virginity” to the highest bidder while retaining anonymity for both myself and the winner of the auction.
The two celebrities that people most frequently say I look like are “Adam Brody” from the show “The OC” and a guy who started (sic) in a movie I’ve never seen called “Spanking The Monkey”
So what exactly does the winner get for his money?
What I am explictly offering as part of this auction is the following - I will wear the same suit that I wore at my job interview at my ex-firm. I will meet the winner in a 100% LEGAL setting such as either at a licensed brothel in Nevada or Rhode Island, and I will spend some time having a drink with them, hanging out with them, laughing, breaking the ice, and so on.
Afterwards, I will deliver what I would consider to be the ideal blowjob / handjob combination until the winner has an orgasm or 30 minutes passes whichever comes first.
Sorry but no anal activity of any kind is part of this offer!
Sorry, Cohen, but you’re going to be yanking a lot of wankies to pay off that much debt. Perhaps you should rethink the anal decision.
27-year-old Wall Street Casualty Auctioning Off My “Gay Virginity” [gayvirginityauction.com]
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Daniel Mauser
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Cindy Casares
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Alex Alvarez
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Gabriel Caro - Camilla Rowan
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Marcelo Cunning
Rhode Island has brothels??? Right On!!
That tiny state finally has something going for it.
Posted by spanexican | October 04, 2008
“Straight” boys are giving that all away free at any Wall Street gym steam room—even if anal was on the table, you can do a porn star for 250 an hour—-I think this Wall Street boy has delusions of grandeur as did much of Wall Street which is why we got into this economic disaster!
Posted by Patrick | October 04, 2008
@Patrick: Zing!
Yea but seriously, he should think about giving up that ass.
Posted by Fredo | October 04, 2008
@ Fredo
I bet if you offered him a bonus, on top of his asking price, his skinny white boy’s butt would be yours —for a half hour at least!
Posted by Patrick | October 04, 2008
somebody thinks they’re the shit.
Posted by denise | October 04, 2008
Five dollah!
I give the stock boy five dollah!!
And I expect anal! Five dollah!
Posted by escobar | October 04, 2008
No, Rhode Island doesn’t exactly have legal brothels. There’s a loophole in the prostitution law that prohibits advertising, or soliciting outside. Meaning, it’s ok if it’s inside.
http://www.rilin.state.ri.us/Statutes/TITLE11/11-34/11-34-8.HTM
Posted by echoroc | October 05, 2008
you need to get over the feat of anal as its a very very much used Form of losing your virginity and pays a lot more.
Posted by Denee | October 05, 2008
I’m willing to lose my “sex with an older lady” virginity for free. Well, only if that older lady is Sarah Palin.
Seriously though…what is the world coming to? This kid is willing to blow a dude for $32K, while the same can be had for $32 at any street corner. There is no imagination these days.
How about “Willing to blow a dog, while wearing a bunny suit, and sticking a carrot up my ass” type of auction?
Posted by JaimeX | October 06, 2008
Honey
the following tariffs are valid:
NYC: - blowjob w/ condom: $ 30 from white male
- blowjob w/o condom $ 50 from whilte male
- good fuck (19 y old male) $ 50-100 depends.
So let’s just hang out on the street a couple of weeks and you pay off that credit card debt in 50 days.
Posted by Philippe de M. | October 07, 2008