Why Are There No Columbus Day Hallmark Cards?

The question of whether or not Christopher Columbus was a complete asshole has divided this country for decades, but we read a new argument from columnist Carole Estabrook in the Auburn Pub today that may decide this argument once and for all.

Heck, Hallmark won’t touch it and if Hallmark isn’t trying to squeeze the last dime out of it; you know it’s divisive.

We searched for sign of a Columbus Day card on Hallmark.com and, indeed, couldn’t come up with anything. And considering that the majority of people who actually get the day off today are bankers, can it be long before there is a real revolt against the day? Columbus brought a whole lot of bad stuff to the Americas: disease, Christianity, imperialism, cattle (they fart.) But to be fair, he also practiced slavery 375 years before it was outlawed in the United States and, according to the Sons of Italy, couldn’t have been responsible for killing the amount of people Latino activists give him credit for in the short time he was actually here. But Eastabrook brings up another point about federal holidays:

[T]here are only 10 federally recognized holidays and of these only two are named for people, Martin Luther King Jr. and Christopher Columbus. Is Christopher Columbus more noteworthy than Amerigo Vespucci, the Mayflower Pilgrims or Lewis & Clark?

Perhaps the name should change to become Discovery Day as they call it in the Bahamas. Because for all the bad, we’ve discovered a lot about each other in these last 500 years. And we think that should always be recognized. What do you guys think?

Estabrook: Columbus forgotten on his own holiday [Auburn Pub]