Madonna’s publicist, Liz Rosenberg (that’s her in the picture), has confirmed that Madonna and director Guy Richie are indeed planning to divorce. In a statement emailed to the Associated Press, Rosenberg said that the couple is asking the media to “maintain respect” during this “difficult time.” Which totally lets us off the hook because you can’t maintain what you never had.

Guy’s mom, Lady Amber Leighton, has told reporters his family will not be making statements, except to say they’re not making a statement. And, also, secretly, this: “Yay! Maybe now our little Guy will go back to making entertaining movies without the risk of all his noteworthy accomplishments being completely overshadowed by his wife dancing around in a sweaty leotard!”

Lawyers, meanwhile, are saying the couple will try to assess what they came into the relationship with and divide assets accordingly.

Which means Madonna will get to keep her fake accent, whilst (ooo!) Guy will keep a bruised ego and slightly tarnished public profile.

Madonna, Guy Ritchie calling it quits [Globe And Mail]
Earlier: Madonna And Guy Richie To Divorce, Gwyneth Paltrow To Weep, Alex Rodriguez To Shrug Nervously