Beyond The Barrio: Bored Russian Soldiers Claim Hot Sniper Ladies Are After Them

Russian soldiers involved in the ongoing conflict with Georgia have made claims that female snipers are after their junk. We think this reeks of horny soldier fetish, but they insist that the Georgians are joined in their fight by multitudes of foreign militants- including of course, foxy Ukrainian sniperesses. Some have pointed out that this is exactly what the Russians said about the Chechens, during their conflict in ‘95- in that war, they claimed that blue-eyed female biathelete assassins wearing white tights were being trained as snipers and turned against them. We completely understand! See there are these bisexual cowboys twins that have been following us for like, months now? But maybe there’s more to the Russians’ fantasies than just blueballs and misty, vodka-fueled reveries.

A reporter on the war in Chechnya explained the Russians myth-spreading;

From the very start of the conflict in Chechnya, Moscow has been unable to admit that the Chechens could possibly be fighting on their own. To explain the debacle, Russian propaganda has paraded a far-fetched collection of bloodthirsty foreign mischief-makers.

Interesting that the enemy is also made out to be female…not that that’s a classic tactic used to de-humanize and “emasculate” your enemy, or anything! But wait, it gets steamier! Also in reference to the years of the war in Chechnya;

Without dipping too deeply into the psychology of military propagandists, it is worth noting that a Russian soft-porn magazine called Andrei launched its first issue with a graphic colour pictorial of a busty woman posing as a soldier. It showed her in various naked poses, pawing a military helicopter, waving an automatic rifle and crawling across camouflage webbing.

Maybe…maybe the Russian soldiers really do just want Love- the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket? We foresee a happy ending (heh) to the war in Georgia!

The Return of ‘White Tights’: Mythical Female Snipers Stalk Russians [Wired]
Document check on the borders of madness [The Independent]