We always try to be fair and diplomatic when it comes to how we treat those who comment on Guanabee. Haha, lie. We totally play favorites. Are you a one-legged gay pirate sex worker with impeccable taste in gem sweaters? You’re in! Is your name “Chet?” You’re probably not in! Do you have a mullet? You’re up for debate depending on what role irony plays in your choice of hairstyle and whether or not you pair said hairstyle with manpris and techno.

Commenter Benny Lava, however, fully understands that if he rocks a mullet unironically while downing super market brand colas in front of the check cashing store, he is our friend 4 lyf. Show ‘em what you got, Ben:

Re: Guanabee Favorite Janie Martinez On Korean TV!

Semen is best eaten straight from the source, as Priapus intended.

Horses?

Re: Nom Nom: Semen Recipes

Pfft. I hate you Guanabitches too. I hate you so much.

Besitos! Have a good weekend, Guanababies. Hold up your splasharitas everyone: ¡Arriba, abajo, al centro, pa’ dentro!