The Enquirer insists this picture, taken from under a giant puddle of urine, is of Cindy McCain making out with Some Dude at a Moody Blues concert in Tempe, Arizona. Said a source (Karl Rove and his marauding band of hypothetical illegitimate black babies):

“I couldn’t believe I was watching Cindy McCain passionately kissing and hugging another man!”

It’s rude to call Cindy McCain a man. It’s also rude to refer to her mystery man as looking like “a washed-up ’80s rock musician.” Because he very clearly resembles washed-up 70s rock musician Ted Nugent. Neither person involved, however, resembles Cindy McCain, since her hair is not seventeen feet long.

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: CINDY MCCAIN CAUGHT CHEATING ON J-MAC! [National Enquirer]