Is Hugh Jackman Really The Sexiest Man Alive? You Sure It Isn’t Eduardo “Mas Sexy” Rodriguez?

People magazine have come out with their “Sexiest Man of the Year” issues and, sadly, the title has been stolen yet again from Marc Anthony. Cue fist shaking, howling. Damn them!!! Instead, the foolish inbreds at People have given that honor to Hugh Jackman, making him the magazine’s first ever lycanthropic winner. Congratulations, Hugh!

Of course, he doesn’t even come close to People en Español’s “El Hombre Mas Sexy” contest winner, Eduardo Rodriguez. No one comes close to him. Ever.

We thought it might be a fun little exercise to try and compare the two winners. You know, see how they stack up against one another. Our highly scientific, highly sexy findings are after the jump:

Eduardo Rodriguez

Pros:

- Shirt? Optional.

- His righteous tribal tattoos lull us into a state of numbness and blissful obliviousness to our surrounding so that we don’t even have to feign having a headache in bed right before we’re ready to go to sleep and trying to finish up some last bit of work and , Jesus, can you not fucking see we’re working a post? Good Lord, put it away.

- He probably saves a lot of money that would otherwise be spent on things like razors and shaving cream.

Cons:

- Eduardo’s got the kind of face you just can’t say no to. Or yes to. Or anything to, directly.

- Shits unbuttoned to the navel don’t tend to be well-received at supermarkets, restaurants, check cashing stores or family wakes.

- Always with the stupid busting into poses against walls!

Hugh Jackman

Pros:

- You can make various fun puns with the name “Jackman.”

- He probably got to keep his Wolverine costume, right?

Cons:

- He’s already happily married with children. Not to them.

- He probably gets mad when you constantly tell him to throw some shrimp on the barbie or wish him a g’day, mate in some mangled, sad version of an Australian accent.

Our vote? Goes to Eduardo dressed in a Wolverine costume posing against a wall while muttering in an Australian accent.

Hugh Jackman: The Sexiest Man Alive [People]