Mexico Says Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt’s Mexican Elopement Is As Real As Heidi’s Face

“The Hills” stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt claim they decided to elope on November 20 at a chapel near Cabo San Lucas. Mexican officials, however, say the ceremony was little more than an elaborately staged photoshoot for Us Weekly. Oh it’s super imperative that we find out whether or not these two swollen bags of poo got married. That way, whenever anyone says that gay marriage “cheapens” or trivializes matrimony, we can point to these two and say, “Yeah? Really?” Said the couple, lyingly:

“We had a beautiful ceremony here at One and Only Palmilla officiated by a minister and photographed by the hotel photographer. We’ve never been happier,” said the couple in a statement provided by Us Weekly. “And, like other elopements that happen outside the country, we’ll take care of the legal details when we get home.”

According to California law, the state does not recognize marriages officiated outside the country, but the couple can choose to petition state courts to have their marriage legally recognize should they so wish. Otherwise, how else are they going to produce subsequent “Speidi Divorces!: Heidi Montag Tells Us Weekly About Her Heartbreak, Gross Incontinence.” Hm?

Anyway, the whole wedding smells fishy. Fishy like a tilapia taco thats been left out for a week:

Americans who wish to get married in Mexico must first go through a process that takes about five days, according to Mexico’s foreign relations department Web site. They must obtain a health certificate, including blood test results from a local doctor; and provide official translations of legal documents, such as birth certificates.

Only civil, nonreligious marriages conducted in Mexico are valid internationally. Peter Grossman of Us Weekly, who conducted the wedding-day interview with Pratt, 25, and Montag, 22, would only confirm Tuesday that the two exchanged rings and handwritten vows in front of a minister.

Gag. Do you really believe these two would have passed a blood test without their alien vein-fluid burning through test tubes and such? Please.

Is reality TV’s most public couple really married? [Yahoo]