Natalie Portman Loves Sex Too Much To Play A Nun

Be honest: If you attended a Catholic school then, at one time or another, you probably toyed with the idea of becoming a nun when you grew up. The notion of celibacy was either not completely understood or was thought of as an added job benefit, as it ensured less likelihood of one accidentally contracting “cooties” or pregnancy.

Natalie Portman, who is supposedly an actress, has apparently never shared in this girlhood dream and cannot fathom pretending to be a nun for the sake of a film because she does not understand the concept of celibacy. At a press junket for the upcoming film Doubt, John Patrick Shanley — who wrote the play on which the movie is based — had this to say about the decision to cast the talented and adorable Amy Adams in place of Portman:

“I’m trying to think of what the etiquette is on this. Well, we asked Natalie Portman, and Natalie was very interested but kept saying she had a problem. And we finally nailed down as to what the problem was. She basically said she didn’t understand celibacy.”

Someone hand that woman an Academy Award immediately.

ALIEN CONCEPT [NY Post]