Obama Supporters Swapped Sex, Kidneys For Tickets To Hear Him Speak

A lot of people have huge Oboners for Obama and wanted to share their swelling pride with fellow cultists. So thank goodness for Craigslist, right? In the days leading up to Election Day, the site was flooded with young men and ladies auctioning themselves off in order to get a ticket to his (they correctly assumed) acceptance speech. Whether you’re hott or frumpy or into fivesomes with total strangers, there was someone who really into you… just as long as there was little chance of you inadvertently shouting “Maverdicks!” mid-coitus. Check ‘em out:

I can be your date to the Obama rally - $1 (Chicago)

Reply to: sale-898645459@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-10-29, 6:38PM CDT

I would love to go to the Obama rally!! Have an extra ticket or just need someone to go with you? I would love to go! let me know….maybe it could turn into more than one night with me you and Obama. haha. who knows right??

haha. Wait… Bristol?!

OBAMA RALLY TICKETS FOR SALE!!!!! $10 Trillion Dollars! - $10 (Uptown)

Reply to: sale-899881700@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-10-30, 5:32PM CDT

Hi, I can’t go to the rally so I am selling my ticket for 10 trillion dollars. Meet me at the Wilson Red Line. The money will be given to cover the United States public debt bill. Thank you.

Yeah? We’ve got a depression for you to check out. Stud.

Looking For Frumpy, Nerdy Girl to go to Obama - $1 (Chicagoland)

Reply to: sale-899926298@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-10-30, 6:11PM CDT

I’m looking for a frumpy and/or nerdy girl to go as my +1 to the Obama event. Short girls preferred. Must not be evil. Do you fit these requirements?

I am average, at best.

We’re nerdy, short and frumpy but, unfortunately, also evil. But only because we firmly believe you’ve never lived until you’ve tried Kama Sutra Supplement #528: “Karl Rovin’ Hands, Rushin’ Fingers.”

Looking for a SUPER HOT CHICK to take to Obama event with me - $1 (Chicago)

Reply to: sale-899798993@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-10-30, 4:22PM CDT

Looking for a super hot chick to be my date to the Obama event. I have no problem pulling hot girls in general so since I have Obama tickets you have to be not just hot but like super model hot, or if you look like Eva Longoria. Wanna be my date to Obama?

1) It’s so rude to pull girls and 2) we’ve got a pet ferret you could have taken for free.

Trade Massage or Apple Computer Help for 2 Obama Tickets (rogers park)

Reply to: sale-897911042@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-10-29, 9:32AM CDT

My partner and I are willing to trade a professional massage and/or apple computer HELP for 2 tickets to the Obama Rally on the 4th in Grant Park.

She is a licensed Massage Therapist, and I am a Mac specialist [ . . . ] She makes house visits all around the city, and works at a salon [ . . . ] we both have references.

So it’s like a double thing? Like a… like a team thing? Hm. Is there, like, a special name for that?

WANTED: Take me to Obama rally! - $1 (Chicago)

Reply to: sale-898392257@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-10-29, 3:33PM CDT

I would LOVE to go to the rally. Take me as your guest!

Let’s barter! What can you get in exchange? Some ideas of things I could do. After all, money’s boring, right?? (oh and I’m an intern, and have been volunteering for Barack so I don’t have much money haha)

…Wait. You’ve been volunteering for Barack and didn’t even get a ticket in return? Not even some spare Change (r)? Ludicrous.

-write you a poem

-take you to a rock concert

-a penny I found from 1908

-mention you on the radio/newspaper as one of the coolest people ever

-a feeling like you’ve done a great deed for many years to come

-me (classically trained singer) singing for you or your event for free

-a free piano lesson

-the secret on where to get a pound of deli turkey for only $2.99

-A personal weight training and diet consultation (with a certified scientician*)

Let me know!

*certified by me and I have the fake document I could whip up in PS paint to prove it!

Cute. We’re smitten. But has he read The Revolution: A Manifesto? As an Obonus, here’s an ad written for Obama’s convention speech in Denver, way back when:

I will give you a KIDNEY for 2 OBAMA Tickets for tonights speech!

Date: 2008-08-28, 11:35AM MDT

Are you in need of an extra kidney? Know of someone who needs one? I have 2 good kidneys which is a little excessive. Ill give you one of them for two tickets to tonight’s speech. I live in Denver and tried to get tickets the minute they were announced. Somehow the first come first serve registration did not work since I was put on the waitlist.

So, I need two tickets for me and my girlfriend. I have an extra kidney. You take said organ, I take 2 tickets for this historic speech.”

We actually only take kidneys from Obama volunteers who come at us with clipboards and a manic “hope gleam” in their eyes. But thanks anyway

Will Trade Sex For Obama Tickets [Xanga]