Ana De La Reguera Talks To Cosmo About What It’s Like To Date A Geezer Like Jorge Ramos

Mexican actress Ana de la Reguera, who looks sort of like she’s doing an impression of Paz Vega doing an impression of Penelope Cruz, is on the December cover of Cosmo “en español” - a magazine which differs from “regular” Cosmo in that it tells you how to please your man 69 different ways with nothing but Scotch tape and a vat of tapioca pudding, but with an accent. She is best known to us for her role as “Sister Encarnación” in Nacho Libre, a nun whose “favorite animal is puppies.”

De la Reguera is set to start filming the second season of HBO Latino’s “Capadocia.” However, instead of being asked about what it’s like to be on a show no one watches despite the promise of lesbians hooking up in prison, Ana has to answer questions about love, sex and boredom:

When asked if there’s a difference between “making love” and “having sex,” de la Reguera gamely responded with something other than, “I cannot believe you are fucking asking me this question:”

“Yes, there’s a difference. When you’re in a relationship, you have the ability to do both: Make love, then have sex. I think making love is something that requires more time and ends up being more intimate. Having sex is something that is much more purely physical.”

Ana is currently dating news anchor Jorge Ramos. When asked if she ever gets jealous over Jorge Ramos’ status as a sex symbol, Ana responded that they would rather spend time enjoying one another’s company than focused on petty jealousy, especially those emanating from magazine writers.

Ana was then asked if there were any advantages to dating an older man, to which she said, “No.” No, of course not. She said:

“I don’t view this as me dating an ‘older man,’ I see it as dating someone who is confident and sure of himself. These qualities come from maturity. And, in this case, I found those qualities in Jorge. That’s why I’m with him.”

Who cares if sex with him is like flinging spaghetti against the refrigerator door, right?

And now, time for 5 Things You Never Knew About Ana de la Reguera Until Now, Probs Because You Didn’t Really Care:

1. She is currently reading Shakespeare Throughout the Ages. Which is fascinating, because why would a woman read anything other than How To Lose A Man Who’s Not Really Into You While On The South Beach Diet In The City Wearing Prada?

2. Her favorite trip was to Mykonos with her friends, family and boyfriend. Our favorite was shrooms with our friends, family, and a giant lizard-person playing an accordion.

3. As a young girl, Ana would often dance in front of a mirror. Sometimes, we would skip school to watch the circus. Oh, the whimsy of it all.

4. She has three groups of special friends: Seven girlfriends in Mexico City, 10 in Veracruz, and five in L- ZzZZZZZZZZzzzzz….

5. She likes to spend Saturday nights alone to “recharge her batteries.” Our vibrator runs on solar power and has a back-up generator, so we don’t have to.

And then she took a really fascinating quiz in which we learn, among other things, that she cannot last a day without “eating or sleeping.” Stars really are just like us.

Thing is, we’re sure Ana is a multi-faceted person with myriad interests and hobbies. Why are mainstream women’s magazines so insistent on creating this image of women as these insipid being who amount little more than their relationships to men?