“Black Canary Barbie” Is Strong, Sexy And Prone To Random Screaming Fits

People are always so hard on Barbie (full name: Barbara Millicent Roberts), but she’s the only woman we know who’s been a teacher, a doctor, an astronaut and seven time winner of G.I. Joe’s annual wet t-shirt contest. Some people are in an uproar over her latest incarnation - DC Comics’ “Black Canary.” But it turns out that Super Heroines? Are just like us!:

DC Comics super heroine Black Canary is known for her martial-arts skills and her “Canary Cry” — a high powered, sonic scream with the ability to shatter objects and incapacitate villains.

It’s rather useful when one is faced with people who don’t comprehend that there is a line to get into the subway and that if you just got onto the platform, you need to fucking wait your turn until all the people who were here before your trifling ass are on the train. Oh but you’re so much busier and more important that all the rest of us on this platform, right, tall-girl-with-glasses-yesterday-morning?

Canary cry, activate-or-something!: AIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Anyway. Black Canary Barbie. Don’t freak out just because she wears BDSM gear, excessive, fishnets and high heels to fight crime. You wouldn’t understand. There’s nothing wrong with being a strong, independent woman who just happens to be every masturbating fanboy’s fantasy. Right, future lady-people? Why be President when you can kick bad guys in a way that shows off your fine-ass ass?

Black Canary Barbie® Doll [Barbie Collector]