Burger King Unveils New Meat-Scented Cologne Called “Flame,” Inspires Guanabee’s Christmas List

Burger King has unveiled a new men’s body spray called “Flame”. According to the Home of the Whopper, the cologne smells like “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.” The meat-spray became available this weekend and a few guys are kind of psyched about it.

Says Salami Caushi (real name?) of South Boston: “It’s very nice.”

Do you hear that in a Borat accent too? One customer, Tony Rama (seriously, that’s too close to Tony Romo to be real), disagreed, “It’s much too heavy.”

“Flame” isn’t for everyone, however. If you love meat products, but happen to be a woman or simply a guy that doesn’t actually want to smell like meat, then we’ve got some products for you:

If you’re like some people we know, you may not floss ever. Or as much as you should. That’s where this floss comes in. Not only does it have a snazzy novelty case, which we’re sure many Urban Outfitters shoppers will absolutely lurve, but it also allegedly tastes like bacon. We’ve never tried it, but you’re welcome to try it and let us know if it actually just tastes like a bacony ass.

Warning: this is not made of real meat. Instead, this is made to make people who see you on the street think that you have an iPod case made of meat. “Why?” you may ask, “would I want people to think that?” Well, unless you’re a hipster or other ironic stereotype, you probably wouldn’t.

Who wants to chew on a nice, thick phallic symbol? We do! “Lunch Meat Bubble Gum” not only has a catchy name, it has a juicy package too. Put a pack of Victory candy cigarettes and a few sausage bubble gum sticks in your purse and you’re ready for any five-year-old’s birthday party.

Alright, so this meat toilet is actually a piece of art by Simone Racheli (a guy) but if you’re willing to pay for it, you completely have the option to poop in it too. It might feel like a giant Venus Flytrap is eating your ass, but that could be a positive thing.

Burger King’s scent of love now flame broiled [Boston Herald]