Grand Jury Indictments Against Dick Cheney, Alberto Gonzales And Anyone Else Who Ever Pissed Off D.A. Juan Guerra Have Been Dismissed

Grand Jury indictment charges against Vice President Dick Cheney, former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, Texas State Senator Eddie Lucio, Jr. and several other local, South Texas politicians and judges have been dismissed. Judge J. Manuel Bañales threw all eight charges of profiting via prisoner abuse out of his court yesterday because, well, the District Attorney who filed them, Juan Angel Guerra, is kind of off his rocker.

It seems Guerra attempted to get Bañales removed from the case by testifying to Visiting Judge Michael Peden of San Antonio that Bañales is part of a conspiracy against him. Peden ruled on Bañales behalf stating that Guerra had “violated the Texas Code of Criminal Procedure by trying to act as victim, witness and prosecutor in the same cases.” He also said that the Grand Jury indictments were invalid because two of the 12 jurors were acting and not permanent members. In response to the news, a spokesman for Cheney last night said, “What is this South Texas that you speak of?”

Last week Guerra failed to show up at the hearing for his indictments causing local journalists to remind us that this is the same D.A. who recently had some legal troubles of his own brought against him by, surprise, the very same people he was trying to indict. Back then he protested the charges against him by parking a camper in front of a courthouse and tying some livestock to it. It’s all very Rio Grande Valley. You wouldn’t understand.

Judge Bañales warned Guerra, who leaves office Dec. 31, to leave the eight defendants alone during his remaining weeks in office, but Guerra begged Bañales to hold an examining trial to determine if charges of engaging in organized criminal activity against Cheney, Gonzales, private prison operator The GEO Group and GEO official David Forrest are warranted. The judge conceded, but the trial won’t be until January 2, two days after Guerra leaves office. Guerra, of course, said this is a conspiracy.

Willacy County charges dismissed against Cheney, Gonzales, others [The Monitor]
Indictments dismissed [Brownsville Herald]
Indictments against Cheney, Gonzales dismissed [AP]
Earlier: Video: South Texas D.A. Indicting Cheney And Gonzales For Prisoner Abuse Didn’t Show Up To Court