Kidnap And Ransom Service Admits One Of Their Kidnapping Specialists Was Kidnapped

A Houston, Texas-based company called “ASI Global Response Kidnap & Ransom” has confirmed that one of their kidnapping specialists, 56-year-old Cuban-American Felix Batista, has himself been kidnapped. Company president Charlie LeBlanc confirms his employee was kidnapped leaving a restaurant in Coahuila, Mexico. LeBlanc wants us all to be sure to know that Batista was not kidnapped while on the job, because that would have been embarrassing:

“He was conducting personal business, not working on a job for us.”

One moment, you’re eating a chile relleno and thinking you’re all awesome, and the next you’ve gone and created an awko taco. The company website, perhaps defensively, describes Batista, a former intelligence officer in the U.S. army, thusly:

Batista is known for conducting a thorough evaluation (of crisis) and for the successful resolution of more than 100 cases of kidnapping and ransom payments.

The case is currently being handled by Mexican authorities and the FBI. Which is probably a good thing. Wouldn’t it be really easy, though, for someone adept at handling kidnapping cases to feign his own kidnap and then use the ransom money to open his own Hardee’s franchise in Reno? That’s kind of been our Plan B for a while now.

Confirma empresa secuestro en México de uno de sus especialistas en seguridad [Jornada]