The Science Of Racially Profiling You: Biologists Report Spaniards And Portuguese Are A Bunch Of Jews And Muslims

The New York Times feels obliged to let you know that the Spanish and Portuguese are largely bespeckled with “non-Christian genetic heritage.” Which explains so much, really. Don’t act like you don’t know what we mean.

Some 20 percent of the present population of the Iberian peninsula has Sephardic Jewish ancestry, and 11 percent bear Moorish DNA signatures, a team of geneticists reports.

Up until now, the ruling consensus was that Jews, Muslims and Christians were hatched from separate pods on respective planets far, far away from each other. Now, thanks to a team of biologists led by Mark A. Jobling of the University of Leicester in England and Francesc Calafell of the Pompeu Fabra University in Barcelona, we know that once upon a time, the Spanish forced everyone in their path to convert to Caholicism. Something we had no proof of before. It’s truly groundbreaking.

Jonathan S. Ray, a professor of Jewish studies at Georgetown University [...] raised the question of what the DNA evidence might mean on a personal level. “If four generations on I have no knowledge of my genetic past, how does that affect my understanding of my own religious association?”

We, for one, are going to circumcise everyone in our family for Christmas.

Sephardic Ancestry Common Among Spaniards, Study Says [NY Times]