More Food Assault In Florida!: Cassady Catolico Hit A Man With A Bagel
20 January 2009, 5:26 PM. By Alex Alvarez
In more news involving trashy Floridians and food, a 28 year old woman named Cassady Catolico has been charged with assaulting a man with a bagel.
Cassady was on probation for a criminal mischief case from 2006 and was also in violation of a temporary injunction filed by her bagel victim, Steven Bunaisky.
All of Cassady’s evil stems from her right eyebrow. It probably whispers terrible things to Cassady, like “Tivo ‘The Hills’” and “Throw that bagel right at Steve’s fat fucking face.”
Also? This, apparently, is Cassady’s Facebook picture:
I will beat your ass with a ruggulah.
Sweet and innocent, right? It’s because she took a Sharpie to that eyebrow and silenced its foolishness.
Bagel Battery! [ScoopThis]
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That eyebrow ish has me snorting and wheezing at my desk like some kind of slacker pig. Oh Alex, I’m gonna write Britney myself and tell her to use you as her ghostwriter.