Jennifer Lopez And Marc Anthony Have A Few Little Demands

Loving couple Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are planning a trip to Cartagena, Colombia, where Anthony is set to perform with equally loving couple Wisin y Yandel. But, before they embark on their journey, the two have but a few teensy demands for themselves and their baby naked mole rat twins:

* 4 nannies
* 4 bilingual, college-educated nannies’ assistants
* 10 armored cars, one for each of J Lo’s personalities
* A security team
* A personal chef who will plan the families’ meals along with hotel kitchen staff
* One floor of Cartagena’s Hotel Caribe
* One organically-fed, free range partridge in a dwarf pear tree imported from China, standing no larger than two and a half feet tall.

And how long will the couple be staying in Colombia? Three. Days.

Hahahahahaha, cretinous plebes with your charming little recessional or whatever-that-is! Be not fooled by the rocks that we’ve got.

J.Lo y Marc Anthony piden 10 autos blindados en Colombia [People en Español]