Jessica Alba Is So Cosmopolitan, Or, In Which We Make A Deal With Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba lends her winning smile to the February 2009 cover of Cosmo magazine. And, in typical womanstuff fashion, she’s asked about her relationship, her baby and her body. 

Because that’s what being a successful ladyperson is all about, right?

The article starts off saying that “at just 27, Jessica has carved out a glittering film career, racking up at least 20 movies and a cupboard full of awards. She also found her dream man, film producer Cash Warren [Ed. note: Of all of two films, in fact. 2008's Crips and Bloods: Made in America and the 2006 tearjerker Rising Son: The Legend of Skateboarder Christian Hosoi.], had his baby, and has won a string of “best body” awards from pretty much every mag on the planet. Who wouldn’t be jealous?”

*Raises hand, cautiously.*

We’re not jealous. Personally, it’s never been our goal to be defined by the person we’re with or “his child” that we happened to carry around for nine months. As for “best body” awards, well. You would not believe how many times we’ve had to politely turn down medals and ribbons and trophies and marble statues inspired by our figure. It gets old. Like, literally. Your body will get old and will be deemed undesirable by a society and an industry obsessed with youth and… then what? 

It might not be reflected in her choice of movies or in the way she’s styled for fashion shoots but… we’re inclined to think, all the same, that Jessica deserves a little better than this sort of coverage. Let her try and fail as a serious actress. Or let her keep being given, and taking, mediocre roles or parts that seem flat and stereotypical. She still doesn’t deserve being written about as if getting married, having a baby or owning a tight body are accomplishments or as if they are worth more than her ability to do her job. 

Here’s our deal for Jessica Alba (Eva Mendes, listen up): We’ll make a conscious effort to continually mention your body of work over your body in the hopes that you will try - just try - taking roles that won’t reduce you to a hot caricature or a damsel in distress. Let’s see how it pans out. Deal? Deal.

Jessica Alba [Cosmopolitan]