Our Favorite (Only) Mexican Warlock Makes Predictions For 2009, Says U.S. Army Will Make Incursion Into Mexico

Last January, way back in 2008 when we were all still pure, timid virgins (right?) and the stock market hadn’t choked itself to death, Antonio Vazquez a.k.a. “the Grand Warlock of Mexico” made some interesting predictions. These predictions included Hillary winning the presidency and Britney Spears killing herself, so you can understand why we now warn you: take his 2009 prediction with a fat hunk of salt.

Vazquez says that in 2009, U.S. troops will be pulled out of Iraq (yay!) but then instantly deployed to the border with Mexico in order to begin expanding the U.S.’s territory southward (boo!). More importantly, he now predicts that Britney will successfully continue her comeback! So we can all relax and get back to building a scrap-metal barricade before those bastards try to take Juárez.

Mexican warlock predicts US troops on border [AP]