The Fashionable Latinas And Fauxtinas Of The 2009 Golden Globes. Oh, And Jennifer Lopez.

We didn’t watch the Golden Globes last night, because when we’re looking for something grandiose and masturbatory to do on a Sunday evening… we do something else.

We do like seeing what the nominees, presenters, seat fillers and publicity whores end up wearing, though.

Surprisingly, one of our favorite looks of the evening rested on the grotesquely obese frame of one Eva Longoria. Is this the same woman who hosted the 2008 Alma Awards looking like a geriatric cruise’s evening entertainment? Her floor-sweeping red gown had to include, of course, a gargantuan train. But better to be clothed in that than in rumors of pulling a train in the venue’s service elevator.

Check out more of the evening’s fashionable Latinas (and one notable Fauxtina), after the jump. Some are from the red carpet, and some from an HBO party celebrating the show. Oh, and Jennifer Lopez somehow managed to shop up as well, despite apparently getting into a back-alley scuffle with a velour tracksuit. And losing:

Not the best color or fit on America, but her makeup sure is putty! Pretty. We meant pretty.

Eva Mendes can do no wrong. Offscreen.

This dress is a little better and might have benefited from an open-toe shoe but, damn, is Jamie-Lynn Sigler ever glowing. This also marks the first time we’ve ever noticed she has the same name as Britney Spears sister.

She may tend to look like a hot mess on the red carpet, but at least Carmen Diaz never looks like a lukewarm mess. Or something. Anyway. Despite looking like the had sex on the limo on her way to the awards, we still don’t love this look.

Nope. No “golden globes” puns from us.

Does Beyonce wear the same dress to every event?

These two always look adorable. But when did Portia dye her hair?

Fun fact: This dress was actually white before Max and Emme decided to accessorize it.

[Image Source] Splash
[Image Source] A Socialite’s Life