Swimmer Jennifer Figge Is The New Rosie Ruiz

Swimmer Jennifer Figge swam all the way across the Atlantic Ocean… Or did she?! The erroneous reports of Figge’s literally unbelievable feat is drawing comparisons to another LIARFACE, Boston marathon “winner” Rosie Ruiz.

Initial reports breathlessly reported that Figge had swum from Cape Verde Islands off the coast of Africa to the island of Trinidad in 25 days, a total of about 2,100 miles. No matter that the actual distance was 2,400 miles. (What’s 300 miles, really?) Or that it is pretty much physically impossible for a human being to swim that distance at a sustained pace over that amount of time. 

Media outlets began second-guessing the story, until Figge finally admitted that had “never intended” to swim the Atlantic and had, in fact, only swam 250 miles, spending the remainder of her journey on her crew’s catamaran. Of course, her original intention didn’t stop her from coming forward and correcting initial reports.

The story is reminiscent of Rosie Ruiz’s. Back in 1980, 23-year-old New Yorker Rosie Ruiz was heralded as the first woman ever to win the Boston Marathon. People were amazed at both her time - two hours, thirty-one minutes, and fifty-six seconds - and the fact that she seemed to have finished the race without so much as breaking a sweat. Look at her stupid LIAR running pose:

Her lack of sweat was probably due to the fact that Ruiz had entered the race a half-mile before the end and sprinted to the finish. Investigators also discovered that she had also cheated during the qualifying New York City Marathon… by taking the subway for most of the race. Honest? No. But you’ve got to give her points for creativity. 

At a time when our county’s idolized and beloved athletes are letting us down by getting high, it might be wise to stick to being honest, though. We can’t take it anymore! Our athletes are supposed to be strong, talented, hardworking… And infallible. 
 

The great Atlantic Ocean swimming hoax [Yahoo! Sports]

Rosie Ruiz Wins The Boston Marathon [Museum of Hoaxes]