Cracking The Case Of Jessica Alba’s Ass Bow Tattoo
4 February 2009, 11:08 AM. By Alex Alvarez
We would never have pegged (pardon the vulgar and only slightly intentional pun) Jessica Alba as the sort to have what is colorfully referred to as a “cum catcher” tattooed onto her lower back. But, as it turns out, she has a tattoo of a dainty little bow perched right above her ass crack.
But what does it all mean?!
Most people tend to look down their noses, literally and figuratively, at this type of tattoo because it is associated sexual positions not condoned by the Catholic Church. Jessica’s bow in particular looks like something of a welcome banner, a little, “Hello! Please do come in,” above her anus. Knowing Jessica as well as we do, we feel totally justified in presenting some possible reasons we think Jessica might have decided on such a tattoo design and location:
- She’s just polite like that.
- The tattoo is not a bow so much as it is a “forget me not knot,” which serves as a reminder to leave the past behind.
- She likes to feel well-dressed at all times.
- The tattoo is an attempt to distract from the remnants of the small, nubby tail with which she was born.
- She recently joined a biker gang called the “Skull & Bows”
- She’s just kind of tacky, you guys.
That’s all we’ve got for now. Any other guesses?
Jessica also happens to have a tattoo on her wrist with a Sanskrit character for either “lotus” or “aardvark tampon,” and a flower and ladybug tattoo at the back of her neck.
Click on Jessica’s Bow for More Pictures of Her Tattoos
Celebrity Tattoos [Vanishing Tattoos]
Jessica Alba inadvertantly shows off her tattoo [Gatecrasher]
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In her older years, that bow is gonna take the shape of a Snickers bar. And given its location, that’s just gross.
Or a cross between Mr. Hanky and a crushed tarantula.
Y’know, I consider myself a moderately worldly gay fellow. Why then, I ask, must I be schooled in things called “cum catchers” by lovely heterosexual ladies of the feminine gender? Did I not get the memo? Is this thing on? (Please don’t ask what I’m tapping.)
My work here is done.
tramp stamp
hey, guanabees, y’all know where i can get inked with an aardvark tampon? not in Sanskrit, either: that’s just half-assing it.
After you have sex with her, you unlock herpes, wrapped in a cute bow and all
I call it a pullout target
Since Jess is sporting this invitation to anal tat AND doesn’t want anything “white” in her mouth, i guess poor Cash is just gonna have to sodomize Jess up the butt and shoot his gunk in her “cum catcher”. Like that wasn’t what he wanted all along!