God, Finally: Roseanne Weighs In On The Chris Brown / Rihanna Drama

We can all pack up and do away with this whole blogging enterprise. Roseanne has cobbled together a little blahg about the whole Chris Brown / Rihanna, and she has pretty strong opinions about the whole thing in general, and, in particular, rumors that Rihanna “still loves” Chris.On February 16th, Roseanne took to her blog to give her take:

chris brown’s lies and excuses

make me want to beat the crap out of him…he uses the language of the perpetrator just like every sleazy bastard who ever smacked his wife, kid mother or girlfriend around uses. you dirty bastard, I hope you go to prison for ten years. IT’S YOUR FAULT, ASSHOLE! as for all the mealy mouthed hollywood and music scene chicks that can’t bring themselves to condemn a misogynistic bully, let me say this: your time as whores for propaganda is ending, bitches.

We were totally, 100% with her until the “whores” and “bitches” part. Because, let’s be clear about this: Domestic violence is not the fault of anyone but the perpetrator. If rumors as to why the two were arguing that night are true, we’ve been there. Not once did the person we were with think to strike us, much less punch us or strangle us into unconsciousness. The problem isn’t with the cause, it’s with the person creating the effect. Does keeping quiet or forgiving these acts of violence ultimately serve to perpetuate them? Of course. But those are symptomatic of the problem; they don’t cause it.

Moving on.

Roseanne then followed up with another blog post, which has since been removed from her website. Luckily, the internet has a good memory. Here it is, in full:

women who go back to men who have hit them are usually violent too–they escalate conflict by using verbal humiliation and often throw the first punch, but are then unable to withstand the strength of the man’s counter attack. 

Alot of guys hit women because the women are hitting them, verbally abusing them or throwing the keys to their car outside and goading them on, and they lose control of themselves. This is what it sounds like to be in the rhianna-chris brown affair. there is no way out of violence if you are violent. the only way to win is not to play the game.

In the later stages, she won’t leave because her will is destroyed, and a violent line crossed, because once the guy threatens to kill her, it becomes almost impossible for her to leave.

i hope rhianna is getting counseling from a professional counselor who will tell her that there is no way for her to ever win, and that she will have to curtail her own penchant for escalating conflict by screaming at or hitting or humiliating her abuser. I hope he gets real counseling too, that is not from a minister or his mom or any other shame based bullshit method that will never work, and that is designed to avoid dealing directly with self-control issues. I hope that they both leave each other alone and get over their faults.

I hope she does not continue to play the game with him. If they still love each other after they learn self control and conflict resolution, then they can get back together.

Our take is that people who truly love one another do not put each other in harm’s way - and that includes pursuing a relationship historically marked by violence. We wonder why Roseanne took this post down - backtracking seems so at odds with the blunt and outspoken character she’s created for herself. What do you all think of her posts? Or, for that matter, the fact that she’s commenting in the first place?

…Or the fact that the photo on her blog looks like it was taken at a meeting of the Yaya Sweet Potato Purple Hat Sisterhood, circa 1994.

Roseanne World [via Dlisted]