Weak Fashion At Fashion Week

Gisele’s silly-ass wig in this Dior ad got us thinking about all the weird and mostly unwearable fashions strutted down runways during Fashion Week, like toilet paper tied around so many angry giraffes.

Let’s take a look at a few examples, shall we?

And, sure, we get that while many of the fashions shown this week are meant for crazy-rich people who follow trends and have little lap dogs named “Muffin” or “Twatwaddle” or what have you. But runway looks can also serve as prototypes for the sort of disposable fashion items you can find at, say, ghetto stores. So, with the latter in mind, we feel in confident in judging certain clothes as outright heinous. Even watered down and slapped with a glittery “Daddy’s Princess” or “Mama’s Cumdumpster” label, we wouldn’t buy some of these looks at Strawberry if they were $3.99. 

So, without further ado, let’s hear it for ugly fashion.

Click Below to Enter s Gallery of Pom-Poms and Pain

Because the captions in the gallery photos always turn out terrible, allows us to air out snap judgments and verbal eye rolls right here:

Outfit 1: This looks like something Bea Arthur would wear if she had burrito bloat and no semblance of self-respect. For shame, Diane Von Furstenberg.

Outfit 2: We can’t help if this is a sort of tongue-in-cheek “fuck you” to fellow Bryant Park denizens on the part of designer Rebecca Taylor, but this is exactly the outfit worn by various receptionists in Miami who have a tendency to clock out early in order to meet someone named Hector or Nestor for a quick bites at Taco Bell.

Outfit 3: Similarly, we feel displaying a very expensive version of something available at Forever 21 four years ago is either an act of incredible hubris and cojoneria or an indication that there’s less to designer fashion than we ultimately though. Well played, Jill Stuart. Keeping us on our ManoloPayless-blistered toes

Outfit 4: What hast thou wrought, Hot Topic? Apparently Baby Phat’s Kimora Lee Simmons has spent too much time people watching in the mall food court while eating Auntie Anne’s preztels. And for that, we cannot blame her.

Outfit 5: Hmm, we dunno about this one, Diesel Black Gold. Seems a little too dressy for most occasions. 

Outfit 6: When we saw the thumbnail for this Pamella Roland. outfit, we thought it was a half pants / half dress ensemble. Then we figured out that it was just ugly. (Why are the Asian models getting stuck with all the terrible fashions? And why are the black models nonexistent? Things to ponder while swathed in tacky florals.)

Outfit 7: The only thing more questionable than tights-as-pants, ADAM, is a sweater-as-dress. Especially during autumn. (Seriously. All these women are Asian.)

Outfit 8: An aggressivley shoulder-padded turtle neck under a draped frock that hits mid-calf? It’s not right and it’s not ok, Donna Karan.

Outfit 9: Arwen might wear this particular BCBG Max Azria offering only if she were blithely unaware that a thick-strapped deep-V in chunky velvet flatters women neither with nor without breasts.