Zagat Selling “Dining & Dumping” Guide, Just In Time For Valentine’s Day

Restaurant-guide Zagat has come up with a guide for the best dining spots to stage a breakup, along with some terrible advice on how to do it.

Will it be Colonel Mustard with “I’m not ready for commitment” at the sushi bar? Or Mrs. White with “we’ve grown apart” at the tex-mex buffet? Read on, and learn how to make this Valentine’s Day the saddest day ever!

The guide was published in different editions with L.A. and New York restaurant listings, and included the results of a survey on dating in the two cities.

Some highlights:

• Men dumping Women: Zagat recommends you go to a restaurant with hot servers, so you can rebound immediately and take the waitress home.
• Women dumping Men: Go to “a loud, kid-friendly” spot and then gush about how you want to have kids. That will scare the man off and then it looks like the breakup was your fault! Victory! Wait what!??
• Only 1% of people surveyed had success meeting someone at the gym. Right, we’re burning our sports bra.
• 60% of New Yorkers think the man should pay for the meal, compared to only 40% of Angelenos.
• 2% of New Yorkers think burning your ex’s belongings is totally acceptable.

So basically the guide is sexist and depressing and we refuse to drop the $5.95 they’re asking for it- especially since really, there is no good place to dump or be dumped. So please, folks, just look the person in the eye and drop the “this isn’t working” bomb, don’t fuck around with a three course meal only to drop the axe over coffee. As for us…well our recommended method is “Miss Scarlet, on the doorstep with the scream of fury and the door-slam.” Simple, sweet and totally free.

A How-To on Dating and Dumping [NY Times]

New York City Dating (& Dumping) Guide [Zagat]