Baby Jesus Has Strayed With Luciana Costa

Word on the street, (and by street we mean our computer because we haven’t left home today), is that Madonna’s newest son Jesus Luz is sneaking out for playdates with girls his own age, namely model Luciana Costa. At least, that’s what British tabloid The Sun says claiming the two were seen dancing really close at a party in Rio on Saturday night and allegedly they shared a kiss on said dance floor. Oh, wasps. In Brazil, that’s like shaking hands. 

The Sun also claims the pair were snapped going out for a walk togther “early” the next morning. They had changed clothes, though, so it’s possible that by “early,” they mean 2:00 pm. Which, for a weekend in Brazil, is kinda early, actually. Luciana says they’re just old friends “having fun” and that the walk included others. If you look closely, Luciana is walking behind Jesus with someone else next to her. Either way, this is definitely enough to incur the wrath of Madge. She is probably sharpening her vagina teeth as we type and we, for one, can’t wait for the impending bloodbath.

More interesting to us is the fact that Jesus Luz’s mom, Cristiane Regina Da Silva is THIRTEEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN MADONNA. Which is a) fucking gross and b) a sign that Baby Jesus is never going to settle down with an older woman.  They like that shit young and tan in Brazil. Then again, Madonna has enough money to make a fellow blind for a while.

Oh Jesus, what are you up to? [The Sun via]