We Cannot Wait For Angela The Nanny’s Tell-All Book About Madonna

Madonna’s Australian nanny, Angela, who was little David’s sole caretaker was told by the Immaterial Mom to leave sooner than expected after she dutifully handed in a notice of resignation.

A friend of Angela’s says she was told to leave a mere two hours before she was due to leave on her annual month-long vacation. Now news in trickling in about the harsh treatment Angela faced as an employee of Madonna’s. 

The help can be so uppity. Don’t they realize they aren’t allowed to move on to another line of work until they’ve been adequately broken, mind and spirit alike?

Says a source (Lourdes):

The rumour is that Madonna was furious that Angela was leaving and dismissed her before she had the chance to complete her full notice.

 All Madonna’s employees work incredibly long hours, so it’s no surprise that Angela had had enough. If you work for Madonna you are on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. There’s no such thing as a weekend.

Here on Earth, people who do not have the time to adequately care for their children themselves are usually regarded with scorn. But in MalawiKabbalahSurgeryLeotard Land, people travel over rainbows are rollerskates and slavery is not illegal. 

Madonna is said to be going ahead with her plans to adopt a second child from Malawi, even though the first time had her embroiled in a two year-long legal mess because she felt she was somehow above filling out the required paperwork and following the country’s adoption laws. And, turns out, she was absolutely right! She bought herself a child anyway, to be raised by someone else. 

But who will take care of Madonna’s other two children while she’s inserting old copies of Snatch into the distended anuses of young Brazilians? Why, Guy Ritchie of course. Says a friend (Lourdes’ legwarmers):

Guy has already had to make plans to be around for most of the summer to look after the kids because Madonna is working. No one knows how she will cope without a nanny. She depends on her staff very heavily.

What a Guy.

Anyway, Angela. Now that you finally have weekends / a life again, do feel free to pen a little something about what it’s like to have to work for Madonna. Or, at the very least, a series of children’s books about “Angela the Nangela,” a spirited young nanny who must toil away in the decrepit Upper West Side apartment of an evil witch with scary muscles and surgically altered cheeks. 

Madonna’s nanny quits… then is told to leave immediately [Daily Mail]