10 Super-Secret Song Titles For Michael Jackson’s 100 Super-Secret Songs

Albino lemur Michael Jackson is s said to have around 100 songs written and hidden away until the time comes to unleash them upon us like a cacophony of angels dipped in peroxide.

Luckily, we at Guanabee were able to get our grubby little hands on his track listing. Here are some of Michael Jackson’s super-secret song titles:

1. “The Girl Is Mine, But, Eh, I’m Not Really Into It.”

2. “P.Y.T.T.N.I.S.A. (Pretty Young Thing. The Name Is Still Awkward)”

3. “Beat It. But Don’t Tell Mom.”

4. “Smooth Criminal. Thanks To An Accident Of Birth.”

5. “In The Closet. Wow, Also An Awkward Title.”

6. “The Way You Make Me Feel You.”

7. “Scream/Childhood. Wow, I Don’t Really Have To Alter Any Of These To Make A Silly Pun.”

8. “Black Or White. Seriously, What Is This? Did You Name All These, Like. With Something In Mind?”

9. “Another Part Of Me Rolled Underneath The Futon :( ”

10.  ”Don’t Stop ’til You Get Enough… Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream To Leave You In A Listless And Immobile Stupor, My Precious.”

Tasteless! Jackson is said to have no immediate plans to release the 100 songs, which have only been heard by his three children: Prince, Paris Katherine and Prince Michael II. Biographer Ian Halpernin, who is working on a book about the Faceless One, says he doesn’t understand why Jackson doesn’t want to release his secret works: “I was astonished by the number of songs which have been held back. I was told that he will not let them come out now but wants to leave them for his kids, a very personal legacy to them.”

Unlike the children’s DNA.

Michael Jackson Has Recorded 100 Secret Songs [Bitten & Bound]