Michelle Rodriguez Wants To Know How Your Dick Sucking Is Going

Delicate bloom Michelle Rodriguez was leaving Mr. Chow’s, gamely signing autographs for her fans, when a paparazzo asked her how her community service (doled out after Michelle was arrested for driving under the influence in Hawaii) was going. Her answer is priceless…

It just so happens that Michelle is a font of similar witticisms. In fact, she’s never said anything that wasn’t short of a-fucking-mazing. Other Michellisms include:

I was in Jersey when the whole World Trade Center thing happened and I felt powerless. So, I went to Hawaii and did a surf movie. It’s kind of fluffy.

When people are feeling vulnerable, Michelle steps in and braves the proverbial wave of emotion so that we don’t have to. Selfless!

People forget we come from an embryo and we’re part sperm and part ovary. We have both sides in us. 

Well. Some of us haven’t had sperm in us since this morning.

The Dewey decimal system really works. So that’s all I needed to know. Elementary school taught me that. 

Michelle puts the “fun” in “reading is fundamental!” And she puts the “re” in there, too.

I would like to see a fierce Fantasia mixed with Blade Runner, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars all in one. That’s the kind of movies I want to make. 

You already made that movie, Mitch. It’s called The Fast and the Furious.

I want them to listen to me for what I am saying. And I think the best way to do that is to sniff my armpits, and like, sit and burp every now and then. 

What? We were distracted by you sniffing your armpit. God, we love this person.