Narco Girls: Behind Every Successful Narcotraficante, There’s A Hot Lady

Colombian actress Sofia Vergara has been rumored to have, at one point, been involved with a Colombian narcotraficante. If it’s true, she could be one in a long line of comely women - real and fictional - involved with ugly drug lords…

Sofia Vergara is in the spotlight as she’s currently doing publicity for her latest role in Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail. The press is, understandably, interested in getting her to address the rumors about her ex’s line of work.

Which got us wondering: What other ladies have been involved with narcotraficantes? Hot ladies paired with drug lords seems to be a popular image, both on and off the big screen. Take a look:

Beauty Queen Laura Zúñiga

The former Miss Sinaloa and Miss Hispanoamerica was forced to give up her title when she was arrested for “going shopping” with members of a Mexican cartel in a truck full of drugs and weapons. Rumors have also circulated that her pageant wins were orchestrated by her powerful boyfriend and his buddies. Oh well. There’s always Lifetime movies. 

Salma Hayek in Desperado

In Robert Rodriguez’s action thriller, Salma plays the beautiful and mysterious Carolina - a woman who has ties to the drug lord Antonio Banderas’ character is trying to kill. As if Salma would be caught dead with anything less than a bazillionaire French man. Or Edward Norton.

Penelope Cruz in Blow

In this film, Penelope Cruz plays Mirtha Jung, wife to Johnny Depp’s character, George. George gets mixed up in Pablo Escobar’s cocaine smuggling ring. Mirtha eventually helps turn George in, but not before we’ve realized that, in real life, drug smugglers are nowhere near as hot as Penelope and Johnny.

Catherine Zeta-Jones in Traffic

Sometimes the best way to get rid of a problem is to hire someone to assassinate it. Such is the lesson taught to us by Catherine Zeta-Jones’ character, Helena Ayala, in this movie. Truth be told, we’d also put a hit on anyone who threatened to hurt a hair on Joe Peña’s Rocky Echevarría’s Steve Bauer’s head. 

Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface

Michelle Pfeiffer plays the lovely and enigmatic Elvira Hancock. She may have the name of a B-movie horror actress from the 1950s, but Elvira’s life is all glamour - mansions, fancy gowns… Girlfriend even gets a tiger. It’s just too bad that rich, successful, tiger-buying drug lord boyfriend like Tony Montoya all eventually have to die.

And, finally, there’s Miss Vergara. Take a look at her interview. And please try to ignore the breathless meanderings of the program’s hosts: