Twilight Fan Bites Eleven Classmates

A 13-year-old Des Moines boy is in juvenile corrections after having bitten eleven fellow students between February 10 and March 13. His father blames the Twilight series for his son’s tendency to be a complete and utter moron.

School authorities stepped in after he bit a 13-year-old girl on the hand during a track meet, and soon discovered that he had sunk his teeth into ten other juicy students. His father, upon being contacted about his son’s extracurricular activities, said he had not meant to hurt anyone and was merely acting like a vampire. 

He bit a girl’s hand, yeah? We haven’t read the Twilight series and don’t currently plan on watching any of the movies that have been or will be made about them, so correct us if we’re wrong  - but we were under the impression that there was no slow, simple, hand-biting vampire character in the series. 

Teen allegedly bites 11 students; father blames ‘Twilight’ movie [Des Moines Register]