Mexican’t Recap: The “Bad Girls Club” Go To Cancun For A Good Ass-Kicking

On last night’s episode of Oxygen’s “Bad Girls Club,” the bad girls were sent to Cancun. The trip started out promisingly enough: Party hats! Penis balloons! Herpes! It seemed like being a bad girl makes for a good time. That is, until someone gets knocked out cold outside a Mexican club…

At the beginning of the episode, we found ourselves thinking, “Hey! These girls seem like fun to hang out with!” and, also, “Woooooooooooo!” They like doing shots, we like doing shots! They like creating huge fights over trivial things like accidentally spilling a fruity alcoholic drink on pretty, blonde Amber B’s purse… and. Oh, right. These girls are insane. Amber B.’s concern that her leather (child, please) purse was ruined were mocked by the other girls, who ignored her - and her tag-along, the also-blonde Amber M. - for the duration of the day.

When the girls decided to put their differences aside long enough to be in the same club together, housemates Ashley and Sarah decided to compete in a “Wet Body” contest. Sadly, the competition did not include dousing one another with lighter fluid.

Tiffany got into a bit of scuffle with the contest’s Mexican MC, who accused her of throwing ice onto the stage and told her to shut up after she insisted on YELLING LIKE THIS. Luckily, her girl Whitney got her back LIKE WHAT:

After Tiffany and Whitney had cooled off a bit, Sarah and Ashley were left to terms with the fact that flapping their tittyballs on stage wasn’t enough to win the Wet Body competition. A distraught Ashley fought through the collagen to announce: “Go to California! Who wins? Me. Because THAT’S where they’ll tell you if you’re ugly or not.” And she’s absolutely correct. Authenticity and honesty have always been the defining characteristics of, say, Los Angeles.

The tension between The Two Ambers and the rest of the Bad Girls - who refer to themselves, tragically, as the “Fab Five”- reached a boiling point when they were all literally kicked out of the club. Because there is nothing more fabulous than getting into a drunken brawl outside a crappy club in Cancun for a reality show:

Teasers for next week’s episode hint that Amber M. may press charges on The Fab Five for handing her a giant plate of Ass Kickery. Fabulous!

Laughing and gringing at gringos getting messy in Mexico never gets old! Unlike certain Wet Body contestants.