Cuban Travel & Telecommunications Restrictions To Be Lifted Today, Howard Stern To Invade

The worst kept diplomatic secret in America–that President Obama will lift several travel restrictions to Cuba before heading to the Summit of The Americas in Trinidad and Tobago–is happening today.

An unnamed big mouth in the White House has leaked to the press that presidential spokesman Robert Gibbs’ will announce this afternoon that you can go see your Cuban cousins now. The particulars are that Americans with family in Cuba will be able to visit more often and restrictions on what they can send to Cuba, (like money),  will loosen. Also loosening is Cuba’s monopoly on the telecommunications market. Let no good deed go without a profit. Obama will lift sanctions that keep American television, computer, cell phone and satellite radio service from being distributed there. Soon Cuban kids will be free to learn at the knee of Howard Stern the definition of female beauty. Hooray for capitalism!