Coño Martinez: One Dominican Judge Wants To Ban Crazy Latino Names

A Dominican judge has had it with his countrymen’s habit of naming their offspring after car brands, cartoons and venereal diseases. Names of like “Querida Piña” and “Seno Jimenez,” argues Judge Central Electoral Commission judge Jose Angel Aquinas, should be banned. And he’s created a proposal to do just that.

Under Judge Aquinas’ proposal, vulgar names (Maria-Labia De Los Santos), those with more than three words (Judge Jose Angel Aquinas) or those that are different pronounce (Mizquixaual Rodriguez) - unless they happen to be naming a foreigner - would not be allowed. Another judge has proposed that, instead of banning certain names, prospective parents would be required to meet with civil registry officials in order to learn about the consequences of naming your child Xylophone Colonoscopy Ruiz.

Another judge, Aura Celeste Fernando, issued a statement saying that governing names was not “prudent.” But who can really take her seriously, you know?

Venezuela attempted something similar two years ago, with officials eventually rejecting the proposal after declaring it infringed on people’s rights. In China, government officials are attempting to create a list of approved names in order to cut down on the many, many Chinese names that currently exist and make it difficult to type in this new age of computers with websites you are not allowed to visit. And, in 2008, the government of New Zealand “Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii” an inappropriate baby name. 

What do you think: Is Judge Aquinas right in trying to limit what people can name their children? Or should parents be allowed to name their children any damn fool thing they like? Hmm. Damn Fool Thing Alvarez Garcia Bernal…

Don’t call him Dummy: Odd names crop up in Dominican Republic [NY Daily News]