Lindsay Lohan Is Crazy Alone Since Her Break-Up

Lindsay Lohan is not taking her break-up with Sam Ronson too well. Friends (who talk to magazines instead of to Lindsay) say they’re worried she may be suicidal.

In multiple calls and email to Us Weekly, Lindsay herself says that Samn’s family, not Sam, are keeping the couple apart.

About the night she was barred from partying with the Ronsons, Lindsay says:

I was set up. Her sister invited everyone from L.A. to the hotel and then sent me an e-mail saying that she didn’t want me to come. And I never even tried to get into the party - I had been staying at the Chateau for three days and I only walked in there because this guy that I thought was my friend said Samantha wanted to talk to me.

I walk in, and she’s in the bathroom crying, and someone’s standing in front of the door and I walked into a room with maybe six people, and within seconds, the room was so full, it was like a fucking show. Her mother starts saying things to me and I hear Samantha crying, and I was like, “What is going on? This is horrible.” So when I was leaving, the friend started screaming, “Get the fuck out of here.” And then Nicole Richie walks by and goes, “Uck,” and I don’t know what I’ve ever done to her.

Lohan says Sam’s brother, Mark, threatened to call the police on her. So, she returned to the room she was sharing with her mother and 47-year-old sister, Ali. It was around this time that one might suspect LiLo did what any young woman who has been wrong might do - Twitter incessantly about your ex’s purported cheating and drug problems. This too, says Lindsay, is a lie. She says someone “hacked” into her Twitter account and wrote that Sam was a cheater and a druggie because someone wants them broken up.

A source close to the Ronsons also alleges that Lindsay attempted to break down the DJs door at 6 a.m. To which Lindsay responds:

Kicking at the door? Oh, please. They’re making me sound like I’m crazy, like I beat her. I’m the girl that wake up to feed the dog. It’s not fair, and I wish I could find out what’s going on.

So she was merely trying to feed Samantha? Lindsay also addresses the rumor that she was held back by five security guards when trying to enter Charlotte Ronson’s JC Penney party:

I wasn’t invited? Samn invited me. JC Penney invited me. I’m closing a deal with them. 

I told Charlotte, “You really shouldn’t have done that, because I’m going to talk to JC Penney and they invited me, Charlotte.”

Lindsay shrugs off allegations that she has threatened suicide when Ronson has previously tried to break up with her and instead paints Ronson’s friends as the source of her current career struggles:

Here’s the thing - everyone’s told me to leave Samantha for so long because of what her friends have been doing. It’s shit like this that hurts my career. I don’t know, I need to just - this is hurting my fucking career.

Is anyone else no longer amused by this? Lindsay reminds us of people on daytime court shows (shut up), who always have ten million excuses for why nothing they do is ever their own fault. It’s the world’s fault they’re appearing in people’s court in a sequined t-shirt and lopsided wig. 

‘I Am So Alone’ [Us Weekly, print]