The Big List Of Celebrities Who Are Latino By Injection

Lately it seems everyone in Hollywood is dating or marrying or having an affair with a Latino. For those who find the culture sexy and appealing–which, let’s face it, is everybody–if you’re not born into it, the next best thing is to become so, as we like to say, “by injection.” Here, for the first time ever, are all the celebrities we could think of who have joined the club.

• John Wayne, it turns out, was the Madonna of his day. He married three Latinas: Josephine “Josie” Saenz (1933–1945) the daughter of Consul General of Panama in the United States, Esperanza Baur (1946–1953) Born Esperanza Díaz Ceballos, nicknamed “Chata”, who appeared in a small number of Spanish language films, (it’s worth noting that Esperanza was psycho and tried to shoot Wayne in a jealous rage over Gail Russell), and Pilar Pallete (1954–1979), the daughter of a Peruvian senator, despite the fact that in a 1971 Playboy interview, Wayne spoke these racist words:

I believe in white supremacy until blacks are educated to a point of responsibility. I don’t believe in giving authority and positions of leadership and judgment to irresponsible people…. The academic community has developed certain tests that determine whether the blacks are sufficiently equipped scholastically…. I don’t feel guilty about the fact that five or ten generations ago these people were slaves. Now I’m not condoning slavery. It’s just a fact of life, like the kid who gets infantile paralysis and can’t play football like the rest of us.

He died of cancer eight years later.

• Marlon Brando married Movita Castañeda formerly Maria Castañeda, a Mexican-American actress from Nogales, Arizona. They met in the late 1950s after his breakup with Anna Kashfi. Brando dumped her later for Tahitian Tarita Teriipia.

• Lucille Ball met Cuban-born bandleader Desi Arnaz while filming Too Many Girls. Ball and Arnaz connected immediately and eloped the same year. They were only six years apart in age but apparently believed that it was less socially acceptable for an older woman to marry a younger man, and hence split the difference in their ages, both claiming a 1914 birth date. On May 4, 1960, just two months after filming the final episode of The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour, the couple divorced. Until his death in 1986, however, Arnaz and Ball remained friends and often spoke very fondly of each other.

• Buddy Holly-Married Maria Elena Santiago, born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, who he met in New York City in 1958. Maria was working for a New York music publisher as a receptionist when she met musician Buddy Holly. Buddy Holly proposed on their first date, and although she thought he was kidding, they were married in Lubbock, Texas, August 15, 1958, less than two months after they had first met. She says, “I fell in love with that man the minute he came through those doors.”

• Mick Jagger was married to Nicaraguan Bianca Pérez-Mora Macías from 1971–1979. Their marriage ended when she filed for divorce on the grounds that he cheated with model Jerry Hall. Bianca was quoted as saying,”My marriage ended on my wedding day.” Later Mick made a son with Brazilian model Luciana Morad while still married to second wife Jerry Hall.

• Jimmy Page was married from the late 90’s until 2008 to Jimena Gomez-Paratcha of Brazil who he started dating when she was seventeen and he was 50. That’s so wrong. The two met while he was in the country for work and she was probably walking to junior high. This was not the first time Jimmy showed his pedophilic tendencies, either. He also famously had an affair with 14 year-old legendary groupie Lori Maddox when he was 28. Lori looks awfully Latina herself, though we couldn’t find confirmation. One website commenter said she was Italian, but she’s from LA and we kind of doubt her real name is Maddox.

• Madonna most recently is rumored to be back on again with Brazilian model Jesus Luz, but she’s also been seen canoodling with Yankee Alex Rodriguez, while he was married, and, of course, her daughter Lourdes was fathered by her personal trainer Carlos Leon. And way back in the day, she was experimenting in her Madonna way with Cuban club promoter Ingrid Casares (no relation.) And then, of course, there’s the Antonio Banderas scene in Truth Or Dare. Madge really has a Latin thing. She never marries them, though.

• Ben Affleck dated Jennifer Lopez, and to be honest, we don’t think white America was too happy about it. The couple’s relationship was one of the most high profile of the last ten years and, we believe, they spawned the original meshing of the names á la Bennifer.

• Julia Roberts almost married Benjamin Bratt, but decided to let life imitate Runaway Bride. They were cute, though.

• Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz did that cute “our names sound alike” thing for a while, but it was this relationship that really got the gay rumors flying about both parties. It is widely thought that these two were just beards for one another.

• Matt Damon married Luciana Barroso in 2005. The pair met in 2003 at Crowbar in Miami where Barroso worked as a bartender. Matt was in town shooting Stuck On You, so obviously his self-esteem was low and a pretty bartender seemed like a step up. Luciana has a daughter from a previous relationship and the couple have two kids of their own.
• Matthew McConaughey made a baby with Brazilian model Camila Alves.
• Tony Parker and Eva Longoria. Ugh.
• Melanie Griffith stole Antonio Banderas from his wife.
• Jessica Simpson has stimulating conversation with her Dallas Cowboy quarterback boyfriend Tony Romo, we’re sure.
• François Henri Pinault risked gazillions by marrying Salma Hayek on Valentine’s Day of this year and fathering her baby, Valentina, not in that order.
• Marc Jacobs recently got engaged to his Brazilian ad exec boyfriend Lorenzo Martone.
• Lance Bass once dated model Pedro Andrade and was rumored to date personal trainer Sebastian Leal now is maybe seeing Brazilian screenwriter Gustavo Marzollo (though Marzollo’s friends denied it.) Some dudes just have a latin thing.

• The Jonas Brothers seem to have a Latina thing. Nick Jonas dated Selena Gomez and Joe Jonas is dating Camilla Belle. Oh yeah, but they’re virgins, so still white.
• Tom Brady just married Gisele Bündchen.

• Jeb Bush the Florida governor made little brown nieces and nephews for brother George W. with wife Columba Garnica Gall, formerly of León, Guanajuato, Mexico. And Jeb’s son George P. Bush went to high school in Miami with Enrique Iglesias.

• John McCain had an affair with Brazilian model Maria Gracinda back in 1959BC.

Click On The Picture Below To See Our Gallery Of All Their Latin Loves