Gossip, People En Espanol, Los 50 Mas Bellos, Party

People En Español Did Not Invite Us To Their “50 Mas Bellos” Party

14 May 2009, 2:05 PM. By Alex Alvarez

People en Español threw a party for their “50 Mas Bellos.” And, oh, was it ever a beautiful affair full of heaving artificial breast balls and artificial teeth under artificial lips under ringlets of artificial hair curling around artificial faces batting artificial lashes! We’re sure our invitation just got lost in the mail, otherwise we’d have been there, too, smiling our biggest fake-ass smile. And our fake ass.

Among the guests were old Guanabee favorites like Eva Longoria, looking particularly teeny while wearing what appeared to be a giant glittery pajama, and William Levy, who believes beauty comes from the inside unless you are ugly.

We also have a couple of new Favorite People thanks to this party: Sammy Sosa’s glamorous wife, Sonia, whose eyebrows are arched to heaven so that they may serve as booster seats for baby angels, and Cucu Diamantes, a Cuban singer whose name is Cucu Diamantes.

Hey, People en Español? We know we’ve been hard on you in the past, and it’s only because y’all are patently ridiculous, but we clean up real nice and really should be included on your list next year, if only so we can swap beauty secrets with Sonia Sosa and slap William Levy in the face. While making out with him. Twice.

Ok? Pon eso in your Rolodex and call us when you’re coming up with your list next year. Guanabee in 2010!