Beauty Tips From People En Español’s Mas Bellos

The 50 Most Beautiful Latinos in the Whole Wide World have some beauty tips to help you, the gullible, celebrity-obsessed Latino consumer, look just like they do. Ana de la Reguera advises you to wear cream blusher because you can use it on lips and cheeks! Eva Longoria mentions that she only trusts L’Oreal products, which, in an amazing coincidence, is the very same company that has hired her as their spokesperson. Colombian actor Manolo Cardona thinks the best beauty product is a woman because “that’s the most beautiful thing there is, and what which motivates and inspires me.” And also because women are products meant for male consumption! And William Levy puts in his own two cents by adding that he doesn’t believe beauty comes from any product but, rather, from within. Except if you’re, like, really busted. Like that fugly caca nugget face Mario Domm. 

Ugh, beautiful famous people! Why can’t you guys just be honest with us, the mediocre-looking plebes? Tell us your favorite beauty treatment involves sitting on piles of money and knowing that you have access to the best, latest and most cutting edge beauty treatments, surgical procedures, makeup artists, personal trainers and nutritionists in the world. That, or just say, “I have good genes.” 

Anyway, here are some of what we wish stars would say when asked to give beauty advice:

• Remove makeup before sleeping. With your director.

• Only use moisturizing cream made of crushed diamonds, Jennifer Lopez’s old nose, and the tears of a stillborn unicorn.

• Eat sensibly. Seriously if you just print out the word “sensibly” several times on a single sheet of paper and tear off each word to consume with a glass of water at different points throughout the day, you’ll stave off hunger while drastically reducing your calorie intake.

• Gently dip your face into a vat of boiling acid. Then, hire a surgeon to give you a completely new one. Fun tip: Your old face can be saved and used as a fetching clutch for evening. 

• Go green! Specifically, gangrene. You’ll surprised at how easy and quick it is to lose weight once your extremities begin to die and fall away.

Los 50 Mas Bellos 2009 [People en Español]