Jesus Luz Tells Brazilian TV Madonna Is “Just A Friend”

Jesus Luz, the rumored betrothed child bride of Madonna, held an interview on Brazilian television show Fantastico last night where we learned two things: He and Madonna are “just friends” and he has the buggiest blue cockeyes in all the world. They are his Cindy Crawford mole. Don’t ever get them fixed, Jesus. But, sears, he is not engaged to Madonna. He is not having a commitment ceremony with her at the Kabbalah Center. Is anyone surprised? This dude takes a shit and the press says it was part of a bizarre Kabbalah commitment ceremony with Madonna. So now that that mess is cleared up, let’s watch him dance around in his underwear.