Padre Alberto Rally In Miami Turns Into Old Man Brawl

About 6o supporters of Padre Alberto Cutié were rallying this morning in front of his church in Miami when 69 year-old metiche, Jose Soler, who was on his way home from the bank, decided to stop in and criticize Father Albert. This led 81 year-old Felix Claro to push Soler to the ground! And cut his finger! The crowd surrounded Soler and started shouting at him! It was pandemonium! Until the cops broke it up two seconds later. But it was a hot mess there for a second. We wish we could have been there. It must have been like a scene out of Cocoon if Cocoon had any Latinos in it, but being set in Florida, that would have been unrealistic. Anyway, it’s sweet that the old people want Father Albert to be free to get his rocks off while still serving God.

Also some young (women) showed up like Dawn McIlraith, age 29, who said that dropping Cutié would be a great loss to the Miami Beach community. ”We’re able to relate to him because he’s hot we trust him,” she said.

But back to the older parishoners, they really seem to be rushing to Fr. Albert’s defense. Here are some other quotes from the elderly around the internet.

• “I would have condemned him if it would have been a young boy, but it was a woman,” argued Zunilda Junco, 81, who attends the church frequently. “He hasn’t killed anyone,” said Dominga Jimenez, 83. “Or raped anyone,” Junco responded.
• Angel Vina, 88, said the incident was inevitable for the handsome priest. ”It was an opportunity, and no one would miss out on that,” said a chuckling Vina, wearing a yellow guayabera. “Now he’s got a lot of women after him.”
• An elderly woman told WWFE La Poderosa host Eddie Calderon that Cutié was very handsome, and that, “If I were a young woman, I would go to church every day just to look at him.”

Well said, horny, old Catholic ladies of Miami.

Supporters of Father Alberto Cutié to rally behind embattled priest [Miami Herald]