Swine Flu Fears Seriously Jeopardizing Mariachi Music. Here’s Some Other Stuff We Wish Swine Flu Would Wipe Out.

Armando Juan Ramirez is a mariachi musician who used to work birthday parties and weddings like no other but, ever since the economy crashed and swine flu broke out, Mexican dudes from Queens have been left off most people’s party invitations, so he’s had to find other ways of making money:

First, the economy took a bite out of business. Then he got hit with a double-whammy: he’s Mexican and he lives in Queens.

“That screams ’swine flu,’ and no one wants that in the happier times of their lives,” Ramirez told the Daily News last week.

The once-popular musician has been forced to take his show on the road. “Between the flu and the bad economy, well, this is what I have to do,” the 45-year-old said ruefully.

We feel for Ramirez, who has taken to performing on street corners in Jackson Heights for change, but his predicament has got us thinking - what sort of things would we like to see wiped out by the swine flu hysteria? Hmmm….

• Hipsters.

Seriously, why did the swine flu decide to immediately donkey punch Queens, but skipped Brooklyn altogether? Transfer from the 7 to the G and do something productive.

• The myth of a post-racial America.

Maybe headlines on “Mexican Flu” and increased animosity towards Mexican immigrants like our friend A.J. Ramirez up there will finally make ignorant-ass people stop talking as if racism and xenophobia are a thing of the past. 

• Scare tactics in reporting.

So now that we’ve all learned that the swine flu is no worse than the regular flu, can news outlets stop shouting at us in capital letters or showing pictures of worried parents wringing their hands outside condemned schools or whatever? More stories about baby ducks miraculously crossing highways, please. Oh, and aren’t we in a war of some sort?

• Cutesy names for diseases.

Swine flu? Hybrid flu? Mexico flu? Pig flu? H1N1 is definitely preferable. If we come down with a debilitating illness, we want it to sound terrifying and important, not like something a muppet might come down with.

• Mariachis.

Sorry. We actually are afraid of mariachis. Because this:

Inevitably leads to this:

Is there anything you’ve been wishing the swine flu would do away with? And if you say “bloggers who do not like mariachis,” well. That would be your right. 

Economy & hysteria has mariachi man singin’ blues [NY Daily News]