Some Teenagers Have Taken To Hugging Hello, A Trend That Has Always Terrified At Least One Latina Blogger
28 May 2009, 1:45 PM. By Alex Alvarez
Teenagers in schools across the country have taken to greeting one another with hugs - at least, they are according to one New York Times article. junior high and high schoolers are routinely saying hello with a hug despite some school administrators’ best efforts to limit physical contact among students lest some concerned parent slap them with a sexual harassment lawsuit. And students who refuse to participate in this repulsive hippie touchfest are often ostracized by their peers:
“If somebody were to not hug someone, to never hug anybody, people might be just a little wary of them and think they are weird or peculiar,” said Gabrielle Brown, a freshman at Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School in Manhattan.
You are mean, Gabrielle Brown. We were once that weird, peculiar high school girl who did not want to be hugged. The thing is, even as a young person with a constantly shifting sense of self, we never liked the feeling of having to blindly follow any trend, especially those that emphasized an often false or forced sense of kindredness. Dude, we don’t like you. We never liked you. A simple “Sup” is fine for people who are civil to one another despite not liking each other a whole lot. Please, hi, we see you every day. Hugs? Are reserved for people you like. A lot. Hugs involve someone directly placing themselves into your “me space” and eattacking you from all angles with their public display of affection. There’s just always something artificial and staged about a public hug. We prefer to hug you in private. With our thighs. To the sweet sounds of Yanni.
In Miami, where we grew up, there was such a mix of cultures that you could never guess how someone was going to greet you: Single kiss? Air kiss? Double kiss? Hug? Handshake? Boob jiggle? Of course, if it had been up to us, we’d have preferred people to give a tentative wave from a mile away. Because we are anti-social, and incredibly awkward and had to deal with, like, exploding pimples and frizzy hair and the sneaking suspicion that you just wanted to hug us to take a peek at my answers for last night’s French assignment.
And, of course, when you’re Latina, people expect you to be comfortable with their lack of boundaries. But, hey, we will gladly be the first to tell you that we are cold and not receptive to touch, despite being Cuban. And, honestly, we kind of like catching people off guard when we extend our hand for a shake as they lean in for a smooch. We are a cold, wet dollop of mayonnaise in your dish of chimichurri and we don’t give a fuck.
Anyway. How do you typically greet people? Do you wait for their cue, or do you go ahead and say hello in your preferred manner? And do you find that people expect you to be more affectionate because you’re Latino? Do share.
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hmmm spreading the swine flu looks like their mission in that high school!
Swine Flu Party: an idea whose time has come?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/07/health/07party.html
@A - I try to guess what sort of greeting will be one short step beyond the comfort zone of the incredibly awkward antisocial person in question. That way I get to amuse myself by making them all uncomfortable without running the risk of getting arrested.
>.<
I was baffled. My intern suggested that you might mean (>.<), meaning something like “I am pained”. Is this correct? I am old and not very conversant with signs and symbols of the youth of today.
Haha yes, that was me wincing.
Alex, I think you just inadvertently coined the word “eattack!”
Aw man…. I’m so hungry I’m about to eattack that bag of chicharones right now!
Yes! Eattack! Like when people are coming at you like they’re going to scarf down your face.
I’m waiting for hip checks to become socially acceptable forms of greeting.
I come from one of those huggy, kissy families. So I am a snuggle bunny and I don’t mind other snuggle bunnies.
But I would not invade someone’s space and make them hug me - I wait for a cue and go with it. Unless it’s that one creepy dude whose “cue” comes with tongue.
yea i come from “rancho” customs and i wasn’t really used to kisses as a greeting until i got to college (my family is all about handshakes) …im still weird about it because i always end up at a weird angle and have to play it off …awkwardly
my family was always a bit cold with the affection, which is funny cause there are a bunch of us…but i digress.
recently some dude called me a straight up beeyatch cause i didn’t like him hugging, or even remotely touching me. he kept saying i had issues. um, yes, with YOU i have issues because i don’t like people touching me when i don’t like you.
otherwise, i generally tend to nod and say, “sup.” or i’ll hug, but that is quite rare. i save the handshakes for networking type things.
Don’t know about other parts of the country, but in the couple Texas junior highs and high schools I went to (we moved pretty often), hugging and being generally comfortable with being touchy-feely in a non-sexual way was the norm, and quite frequent. Which was handy during study halls or free periods where they let you spread out and work, because you could always find a friend willing to be a human pillow/bean-bag for you to lounge against. Mind you, I haven’t been in public school for over a decade now, so it’s not like that was a recent development. But it definitely is a closeness I miss in the corporate work world these days.
My friends and I always greet each other with a hug when we see one another. We’re gay, and I always thought that hugging was our thing. “Hey girl!” should always be followed with a hug!
Honestly, I think a peck on the cheek is way more sanitary and civilized than touching someone’s hand.
This article is freaking stupid. Everyone hugged in schools in the 90s too, but the Boomers were too busy making money and babies to notice. Yet another example of a Baby Boomer “omigosh, we didn’t do that in the 60s and 70s, how weird.” article.
Alex, are you my sister in disguse. She doesn’t like to be touched. At. all. It’s fun when you reach your arm out to touch her. She winces then yells not to touch her.
My family always does the hug/kiss on the cheek greeting.
For the hug amongst my friends pretty much I only do it if I haven’t seen them in forever and a day, but only if it’s a really good friend.
If no hug or some sort of hand shake is involved ( i have a secret hand shake with one friend) I just do the head nod. Which is what I did in high school too.