Blind Item Time! Guess The Hot Tamale Who Has Three Sources Of Chile Sauce Ayayayayay!

Since it’s aaaalmost-but-not-quite Friday and we’re all sleepy and possibly hungover, let’s efficiently combine a fun blind item with our daily dose of Latino stereotypes, ok?

See if you can figure out the piquant corn product behind this gossip item:

Which married hot tamale of an actress has three boyfriends on the side? One is rich, one is pretty and one is a rough-and-tumble Oscar nominee.

Hmm. The actress in question is either literally on fire and made of corn, or she is Latina. Who could it be? Let’s run through some possibilities:

• J-Lo. Her marriage to Marc Anthony has been plagued by rumors of problems pretty much since the start and especially since the birth of their twins, Caca and Peepee. Maybe she’s looking for some relief?
• Eva Longoria. Haha, just kidding. No one would ever refer to her as an actress.
• Salma Hayek. She and her disgustingly rich husband, François-Henri Pinault, briefly broke up before getting married. He’s so much older than her and the two probably never see one another because of their schedules. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched to think their marriage might be arranged to allow one or both the odd mistress… or mister? 
• Roselyn Sanchez. She’s a newlywed. And an actress, for all intents and purposes. But, like, no one remembers she exists, so it’s not terribly likely.
• Jackie Guerra. She’s pretty irresistible, after all.

Who do you suppose this could be?

Gatecrasher [NY Daily News]