UPDATE: Don Julio Tequila Gives Us One More Reason To Hate Brody Jenner. Brody Jenner Is Just A Random Idiot In A Sombrero

UPDATE: Don Julio’s PR people contacted us to let us know that Star’s caption, which described Brody as being on a shoot for Don Julio, is untrue. So we can continue to drink Don Julio in good conscience. Until we lose consciousness. Hey-O! 

Our feelings on Brody Jenner, however, remain consistent.

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The bromantic Brometheus that is Brody Jenner teamed up with ex-girlfriend and current The Hills co-star Kristen Cavallari as well as his latest girlfriend, a Real Doll, to shoot a commercial for Don Julio Tequila. Just kidding. That’s former Playmate Ashyley Michelle  Tyffany Alexandra Jayde Nicole. But she totally looks like a Real Doll in this picture, no? 

Brody was dressed for the shoot in a sombrero, poncho and, most hilariously of all, a fake mustache. Because this, after all, is what Mexican culture and tequila are all about: An easily identifiable visual joke among non-Mexicans who just want to get schwaaaasties in Tijuana. Or, hm, is that an unfair stereotype? 

Anyway, we must ask: Don Julio, why do you fucking hate your people? Cue single tear, swig from Don Pilar tequila bottle discretely hidden in a paper bag.

We guess if your target demographic is overpaid and underworked frat boys for whom the world is little more than an upturned smiling face on which to splooge, Brody is an awesome choice. But if you want your brand to reflect something a little more timeless, a little more elegant, a little more, we don’t know, Mexican, then you might have want to have gone with a classier spokesperson, like maybe Steve-O in a lucha libre mask getting teabagged by a burro. Brody in a sombrero just doesn’t really seem to jibe with the image Don Julio is ostensibly trying to create:

Tequila Don Julio is a celebration of two Mexicos: the past and the exciting future. Tequila Don Julio comes from a tradition of pride in craftsmanship and yet it is also a vital part of a new Mexico. A Mexico in the center of the world stage. As connoisseurs across the world discover a Mexico that is exciting and vibrant, they are discovering a tequila that is the definition of luxury and craftsmanship.

Translation:

Tequila Don Julio is fucking baller, dude, like getting crunchy with two Mexican hookers: the one with two legs and the one without. Tequila Don Julio comes from a tradition of slipping it in, crafty-like, and getting it on with my girlfriend’s roommate while she’s sleeping off a blackout in Mexico. A Mexico in the center of fucking Europe! Eur! Ope! As connoisseurs of poon discover that tequila can take the taste out of anything, we’re discovering that Don Julio doesn’t give a fuck about upholding culture and tradition as long it makes money off total fucking ADVENTURERS like me, Broseph.

Then again, who doesn’t automatically picture a white boy dressed as a racialized caricature upon hearing the word “tequila.” Don Julio FTW. Bro.

[Star Magazine, print version]