Pricks And Stones: Words You Can And Cannot Use

GLAAD has asked Perez Hilton to apologize for calling Will.i.am a “faggot” during a recent altercation. They’ve also asked people reporting on the story not to repeat the word, which is not a request we’re interested in following for reasons we’ll explain in just a moment.

The controversy in this case stems, of course, from the fact that Perez is himself a gay man. Not only that, he’s positioned himself as something of a crusader for gay rights, even calling former Miss USA Carrie Prejean a “dumb bitch” for her stance against same-sex marriage. So why, then, would he publicly use a slur that’s been hurled as an insult at men who are seen as effeminate, or rained down on homosexuals while they’re being beaten to death - a word that is so loaded with hatred and venom? Probably because the only gay man Perez Hilton truly cares about is Perez Hilton.

Perez said he used the word because he knew it would effectively piss off “that thug,” meaning Will.i.am. Now. We don’t find anything particularly thuggish about Will.i.am and we highly suspect that Perez wouldn’t use the same word to have described a white man. So, really, Perez is showing his true colors left and right as far as this altercation and fallout are concerned.

Some might argue that Perez is “allowed” to use the word faggot and take ownership of it as he sees fit because he is a member of the community targeted by the slur. The same argument is given to allow black members of the rap community to use the word “nigger” in their song lyrics, or to allow women to call one another “bitch” or “cunt” or Latinos to feel ok calling their buddies “wetbacks” or “spics.”

Eh, we don’t buy it. We think anyone can use any word, but they must be able to understand and anticipate the consequences of their decision. When Bitch magazine decided to take “take back” a slur often hurled against women to belittle and dehumanize them, it was with the intention of redefining the word, or calling attention to the fact that it’s often used in describing women who are outspoken, aggressive and ambitious.

Nanna, an out contestant on (and the eventual winner of) Finland’s Next Top Model decided to pose in the competition wearing a sweatshirt with the word “homo” displayed across the front. Not only did this work to take back power using a word that has been utilized in an attempt to take away power from gay people, it also gave a face to a slur and to a concept and sought to humanize something designed to do the opposite.

Some time ago, comedian Damon Wayans (one of the many Wayans Bros.) attempted to trademark the word “nigger” and market it as part of his brand through clothing, TV shows, etc. His attempts proved fruitless, but who knows that might have changed the perception of the word - whether adding to the negative, introducing a positive layer through satire, or bringing the whole discussion of the word down into the gutter.

The point is, words remain but their meanings can change with time. So when we report on someone using the word “faggot” as a demeaning insult, we’ll quote the word. And when we report on someone trying to take back or deactivate the word “faggot,” we’ll also quote the word. 

It’s not the words that are the problem. It’s people like Perez Hilton, who are ignorant, self-absorbed, small-minded, demeaning to the gay community, to black people, and to women, people who are hypocritical, that are the problem. Which is why we’d never go so far as to insult someone by calling them a PH. Maybe an H del P, sure. But never a PH.

GLAAD Ain’t Happy with Black Eyed P. Hilton [TMZ]